Some many years ago, after Bella passed away, I took on the 100happydaysĀ challenge to focus on being happier, even if it was just a small thing. Sometimes after a long spell of negativity, we need to train ourselves to be more positive, or be more happy. And after a whole very dramatic and roller-coaster year, my emotional and mental state is really in bad shape. So perhaps this challenge will be a good way to focus and train myself to be more positive again.

I’m doing this for me, because I desperately need to see a change in myself. Because I am done letting my emotions go on a roller coaster ride. Because there are friends who still believe in me and care for me. Because I know I can be better, and when I am better, everything will fall into place.

Thank you, for reminding me that I can choose to face daily issues with a smile. And to not let my emotions control me, and yes, not letting it out on the people around me.



Virgin Run

Growing up in Seremban, i always wondered if I should take part in the yearly Seremban Half Marathon, and of course the lazy part of me never came around to do it. The part of me who love sleeping is more powerful than the part of me who wants to run. Also I didn’t really have any kaki to motivate me to do such thing.

This year, by some what compulsory, we are suppose to participate in the company’s organized run, only 5km. And I tried very hard to encourage (with force) some friends to join with me. Thankfully they did. And proud to say I ran perhaps half or more of the time! Yay! Thanks Chooi Mun for encouraging me all the way! šŸ˜˜

On a random note, it’s always awesome when my good friends get to know my other good friends. =) 

Roller Coaster Tummy

Can’t imagine the number of times I have been to see a doctor in the past one year. A roller coaster year of endless sickness that is purely derived from stress caused by the endless drama that has been happening.

Started with 4 – 5 months of Gastric continuously, which resulted in nearly 10KG down, which is definitely a happy note. There were weeks of back to back junk food, and my weight was continuously dropping. All for the wrong reasons. But hey! I wasn’t all unhealthy, I still swam and ran. I also discovered I have no longer have an issue swimming all alone at night. No more imaginary shark or ghost haunting me. I guess my mind is really very occupied.

Then came a series of unknown fever which lasted nearly 2 weeks. Did all kinds of test and scans and yet the doctors found me perfectly okay. Stress really breaks the humans physiology down and cause abnormalities that comes with no answers.

Now, nearly one week of gastric, I find this abnormal. Of course I am partially to be blame, because when the gastric started I thought some gaviscon & soda water will help it, which it normally does for mild case. Who knew this round it is quite serious, with the back to back stress from work, personal life and other nonsense that shouldn’t even bother me.

Been saying this for nearly a year, but I am really craving for a break. Break from all this stress. I just want to get away from Malaysia for at least 2 or 3 nights, and pretend for a moment that everything is great. I know for a fact, next year will be a great year, and which to feel a glimpse of it soon. Something to hold on to for a moment… a glimps of the light at the end of this tunnel.

Death always makes me wonder…

Life is fragile, a statement we all hear all so frequent. However we don’t really put much thought about it till death happens to someone we know.

Few days back, I got a message that aunty Linda has passed away. She has been battling cancer for many years now, and the family have been putting their best over the years to care for her and spend as much quality time with her as possible. I’ve known the family for as long as I can remember. Julia, my peer growing up; church mate and high school mate, and one of my girlfriends in life, is the second daughter of aunty Linda. And I know she and her siblings has sacrifice so much in the past years for their mother. It is really heart breaking that this happen but we all know she is in a better place now, and not suffering anymore.

Being at a funeral always makes me wonder about how much have I done, and can I do more to impact the life of the people around me. Not some random stranger, or random charity organization, but the real people around me. Friends, family, colleagues, and maybe even acquaintances. Making a difference in someone’s life. Being kind to those who seem like they don’t deserve, seeing people for who they truly are instead of how the world judge them to be, building relationships and connections to let them know someone do care.

There is something about a deeper meaning of relationship that can make a huge impact in people, because in this era, money & status can buy nearly anything, but not real relationships. Even if on day the relationship is not close anymore, but the impact will last a lifetime.

So if someone does you wrong, forgive, let go and move on. I won’t say forget, cause nobody wants to be bitten twice. So learn and be bigger person. Strangely I am the type of person who gets bitten ten thousand times by the same person before I decide thisĀ  isn’t worth investing in anymore.